Writing

HOW TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED 101.

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1. Select the person you wish to be taken for granted by. Make sure you select an individual who you’re complacent and comfortable around. That way the process of getting hurt is smoother.No casualties.

2. Once you’ve opened up to the person and let out your vulnerable side to them, wait for them to slowly trick you into believing that they care. The window period can range from anywhere near 1 month to 2 years.

3. Start by slowly caring for the person. Beware.The care has to to be directly proportional to how much you’d like to be taken for granted. So measure it accordingly. You can use your heart to measure the adoration. Add some sacrifices and self doubt for improved texture.

4. At this point you’d probably listen to what they say minutely, remember important dates, justify their mistakes and camouflage their flaws. If you do any of these then you’re on the right path. If not continue Step 3 for a while.

5. Make sure to add subtle doses of undue importance at regular intervals to boost the recipient’s alter ego.

6. Once they’ve slowly started realizing you’d jump a bridge for them, comes the core part of the recipe which will lead to the desired outcome in no time. Shed your inhibitions and reveal your weaknesses to them. Peel out the outer layer. Tell them about your insecurities, what makes you weak in the knees, what will or can crumble your self esteem. Confess how you feel about them, how you appreciate their presence in your life.

7. Make sure that they are not interested in your life, about your whereabouts, about your passions, finds it hard to pencil you in their schedule, is always busy and always asks for favors. If they do not do any of these then it shows that they care and that’s obviously not what we want. They are required to have excuses up their sleeve at any given point of time. Being treated badly and given no priority is a prerequisite.

8. Shower them with unwarranted attention because your identity is a fictitious concept. Reveal your fondness for them openly. The key is to let them know that you place them on a pedestal. Lack of reciprocity is a good sign.

9. Now comes the easy part. Sit back and wait for the action to begin. If you’ve followed all the steps precisely, a rational person will respond to our methodology effectively by using all your shortcomings to emotionally damage you.

10. Being ignored, being treated as a choice are some of the signs that you’re on the right path and are following all the steps to the T.

11. Voila! You my friend are now being successively taken for granted. You’ll take some time to adjust to this newly achieved status but it will happen in due course. In the mean time take frequent sips of self pity and reassurances from friends and family for long lasting effects.

By Gayatri Sathian

About Gayatri:
Gayatri Sathian is an eighteen year old student from Mumbai currently pursuing her undergraduate course in mass media. She has formerly worked with Terribly Tiny Tales as a Community Curator, is a qualified yoga instructor and spends her free time analyzing movies and performing spoken word poetry at various gigs. You can find her work at gayatri99.wordpress.com
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Artwork by Andrea Ucini.

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